Being a last born, there’s so much I get to see and witness at a young age. I get to know a lot of things that most people my age don’t know; the good, the bad and the ugly stuffs.
I’m the last born of a family of six girls, and with girls, there’s usually much more drama.
I’ve witnessed my sisters go through heartbreaks; I’ve seen my AS-sister say goodbye to her dream guy for fear of Sickle-celled children, I’ve seen another marry the love of her life and still get separated from him and I’ve seen another experience the demise of the man she thought she was going to marry.
And also, living at my sister’s, when her friends come, I get to hear all about the marital life, mostly the negatives. The fighting, the cheating, the problems, the chaos,etc
So for a while I became a pessimist, I couldn’t dream about fairy tales cause apparently they don’t exist. Even when I wrote stories, I wrote them with sad endings. I just started worrying about problems before they even came. I would sit down and contemplate for hours about where or when my tests would come, was I going to get sick and become bedridden? Was poverty my test? Was I going to get kicked out of Med school? Was I going to end up in a loveless marriage or an abusive marriage or not even get married at all? Was it going to come from children? Would I not have them or would they turn out bad? I just thought about all the possible bad things that could happen and began worrying about them before their arrival.
But lately, I’m trying to stop this attitude of overthinking, it just ruins your current happiness. I stumbled upon a quote that I’m taking as my life motto now;
‘Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24hrs in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be’.
I find this quote really inspiring wallah, the simple message is to take life one day at a time. Don’t think beyond the 24hrs in front of you, let tomorrow come before you can worry about it.
And i take ‘where you want to be’ as in Allah’s good books I.e Jannah so I try to live everyday in obedience to Allah. Because that is the ultimate goal. It would really be a shame to go through this unpleasant life and end up in a place far worse; Jahannam.
I’ve realised that this life is really uncool, for everybody, even if you have a seemingly perfect life, you might have a relative or a friend that is in a dilemma and you’d be obliged to feel down too. Everyone is fighting one battle or the other in this life; the muslim and non-muslim, the female and the male, the pious and the wrong-doers,etc So it’s better to live a life of obedience to Allah so that you can rest in the eternal life to come.
I guess if I can go through the hurdles of life, the tests, the calamities, the delights, the pain and the heartbreaks and still remain in Allah’s good books, then I would have been successful.
In conclusion, I’d like to advice myself and whoever is reading this;
Live! Don’t just exist.
Go out and do something great! Don’t just sit around waiting for life to get you.
Enjoy the beautiful moments in life because life has a lot of such to offer, don’t ruin your present happiness by predicting future sadness.
Enjoy the fun times with your family and don’t keep thinking that it’ll end soon;
dance at your wedding and don’t be gloomy because your husband might change in the long run;
shower your children with love and care and don’t keep anticipating whether they’ll turn out good or not. This life is not perfect; it’s not perfectly good and it’s not perfectly bad.
Don’t overthink things. Your life has already been planned by Allah.
And when your test arrive, look to the Qur’an and Sunnah for ways to deal with it.
Don’t let your tests make you go further away from Allah, rather let them bring you closer to Him.
And finally, don’t loose sight of the ultimate goal!
Keep your eyes on the prize; Jannah!