Assalama alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
Reading through my sister’s article ,
I found it so profound Masha Allah and I wanted to also say a few more words on the topic.
So there was this friend of mine, whenever the topic of death was brought up, she would get terrified and exclaim ‘Let’s not die before we get married!’ That was her main fear, to die without getting married. I never understood the reason for such a fear, I mean, so what? What does your marital status have to do with your death?
She was of the common idealogy in our society that a woman isn’t complete without being married; and that dying without leaving a child was a loss.
So I got thinking, why do people feel the need to get married before they die? To have a child that’ll pray for you when you’re gone. Okay.
So does that mean no one will pray for you if you die?
If the goal is really to leave a legacy, was having a child the only way you can do that?
Marriage, like a lot of other things like rizq or children, is something that is decreed by Allah(SWT). And just like not all people are destined to be wealthy in this life, not everyone is destined to be married too, and that’s okay. Why do people think that you’re any less of a person if you’re not married? Isn’t it Allah’s decree upon you that you not be married?
The goal in this life was not to come here and get married, have children and live happily ever after; the goal was to come here and take provisions for the hereafter.
Marriage is a beautiful thing and I pray that Allah grants us all a halal union with the people we love,ameen. I think as humans we’re all born with the want of companionship and the desire to love and be loved. But if marriage wasn’t written for you, then it’s a test for you, that you remain patient and maintain your chastity and virtue.
And marriage can also be a blessing or a test for you in this life. Some people are going to attain jannah through it and some may taste jahannam through it.
Think about it, if the sister who died passed away while her husband was displeased with her, wouldn’t that have been worse for her than being unmarried? Pleasing a human is harder than pleasing Allah.
Sometimes what we see as trials are actually blessings in disguise.
As human beings, and as muslims especially, we should aspire to leave a legacy, we should strive to make a difference in the ummah. But we shouldn’t narrow our thinking to only marriage and having children. While raising good righteous muslim kids is a key way to improve the society, there are also many ways in which you can contribute to the society.
Take the examples of our late scholars, the likes of Sheikh Jafar, Albani and Tehseen Khan, see the legacy they left behind; their lectures, tafseers, mosques, schools, etc
Can you imagine the thousands of people that pray for them though they’re not their children?
I get inspiration from them everytime to do something great, something that’ll impact people’s lives positively that they’ll feel my absence when I’m dead, something noteworthy that people will pray for me though not even having physically seen me.
To me that is the true legacy and a more attainable one.
I believe everyone has something to offer, some knowledge that they can spread, charity that they can give, etc
One has to believe in his/herself and aim to do something great in this life.
There’s this quote I read,
‘We’re not born just to pay bills and die’.
We can all do much in the society, let’s not wait till we’re get older, or when we get married and have kids, or when we’re through with school; find something to do now that’ll benefit people so that when you die, people don’t just make up beautiful eulogies about you, they actually feel a void in them created by our absence.
May Allah grant us the ability to leave a lasting legacy in this world and may He grant us righteous spouses and children that will be the coolness of our eyes, ameen.
Your Sister in Deen,